Listing dangerously, louder than the DJ's Manilow
Posted 08-07-08 at 22:04 by Mr Rooty Tooty
Luke spotted a good looking girl. she was French, her English wasn't so good. Vickers stormed through this issue as usual. The girl displayed the kind of wide-eyed confused and boggly look I generally asociated with Germans. She didn't blink and kept looking from side to side for support, smile fixed, as she struggled to field very simple and very inane questions about her background, intent and nature of sexual orientation. Vickers kept his glass at waist height held firm against his mid rift, left hand in jeans pocket and leaning in close as if threatening to come crashing down on top of her. He spoke far too loudly and I imagine he was spitting. He was really booming it out and closing his eyes halfway through each sentence. The warning signs were all there, he was listing about like a frigate with a hole in it's bow.
The girl was very hot but I couldn't shake the fear that she may be equally hairy. She definitely looked like she was concealing fistfulls of body hair. Her mate was much older, Polish and had that typically Eastern European brand of ennui, bordering on rude, that maybe she had something much more important to attend to than interpersonal relations.
I was nominated as translator. I don't really speak French so good and found myself talking in Japanese as a common language. I speak less Japanese that French. Once I'd asked where my red suitcase was I was floundering a little so I deflected my interest back to the Pole, who avoided being roped into anything other than a weary exchange of "yes, no" answers .Things changed though when I asked her what she did. A Phd in molecular biology. As soon as I said that I was micro her whole demeanour changed. I mean, like body language altering, face lightening, actually making eye contact.
The very first thing she said, after this small bond was found was "What the fuck is his problem?", stabbing in Luke's direction with her thumb. I just shrugged a little and said "He's always like that". This seemed to placate her and she eyed Luke with contempt as if I'd confirmed something that she had only previously suspected.
It amused me because her objection to Luke, which I could have happily assisted her to delineate, she couldn't evoke beyond there being something "up" with him. My response was equally vague, the entire episode was almost non-verbal.
The fact that he wandered around everywhere being Luke at all times pissed her off. Perhaps she thought he had days when he didn't wear suit jackets and solicit pointless and unwarranted conversation from girls with whom he didn't share a common language. I could only confirm that he was always like that, and she took offense at the notion. Perhaps she thought that he was having a particularly bad day and was offering possible sympathy as a get out clause. It seemed she needed him to only exist temporarily, the thought of him as a permanent fixture of the human race made her seeth.
Although I thought I was the very essence of charm, discussing faculty politics and the dire state of scientific funding within the current economic climate, on reflection I was probably hammered. The last pint I had was Leffe, which the bar staff refused to serve in one glass. We bought 4 bottles and asked for two glasses, which they didn't like at all as it seemed implicit that our attempt to deceive them was so half arsed as to consititute an insult to their intelligence. We chased them with two double JDs, this being round 5 or 6 of such, so I was more than likely sounding off like a turpsed up moron.
I also had a laugh earlier when Luke objected to some expensive tequilla being served to us in Time. "Where's the Jose then?" as we were poured two generous shots by the bartender. The bar manager, who happened to be walking past spun on his heels as if stung and said "Jose? This is Fucking Hacienda!".
When Luke went to buy cigarrettes the manager came back over and I said "They were nice shots " or something. "Yeah, that's good stuff that is mate" he confirmed.
I said "Don't mind Luke, he can't think right" and he said "He's a big boy, he can take it" which I thought was a wonderful summation of the whole exchange, and very manly.
The girl was very hot but I couldn't shake the fear that she may be equally hairy. She definitely looked like she was concealing fistfulls of body hair. Her mate was much older, Polish and had that typically Eastern European brand of ennui, bordering on rude, that maybe she had something much more important to attend to than interpersonal relations.
I was nominated as translator. I don't really speak French so good and found myself talking in Japanese as a common language. I speak less Japanese that French. Once I'd asked where my red suitcase was I was floundering a little so I deflected my interest back to the Pole, who avoided being roped into anything other than a weary exchange of "yes, no" answers .Things changed though when I asked her what she did. A Phd in molecular biology. As soon as I said that I was micro her whole demeanour changed. I mean, like body language altering, face lightening, actually making eye contact.
The very first thing she said, after this small bond was found was "What the fuck is his problem?", stabbing in Luke's direction with her thumb. I just shrugged a little and said "He's always like that". This seemed to placate her and she eyed Luke with contempt as if I'd confirmed something that she had only previously suspected.
It amused me because her objection to Luke, which I could have happily assisted her to delineate, she couldn't evoke beyond there being something "up" with him. My response was equally vague, the entire episode was almost non-verbal.
The fact that he wandered around everywhere being Luke at all times pissed her off. Perhaps she thought he had days when he didn't wear suit jackets and solicit pointless and unwarranted conversation from girls with whom he didn't share a common language. I could only confirm that he was always like that, and she took offense at the notion. Perhaps she thought that he was having a particularly bad day and was offering possible sympathy as a get out clause. It seemed she needed him to only exist temporarily, the thought of him as a permanent fixture of the human race made her seeth.
Although I thought I was the very essence of charm, discussing faculty politics and the dire state of scientific funding within the current economic climate, on reflection I was probably hammered. The last pint I had was Leffe, which the bar staff refused to serve in one glass. We bought 4 bottles and asked for two glasses, which they didn't like at all as it seemed implicit that our attempt to deceive them was so half arsed as to consititute an insult to their intelligence. We chased them with two double JDs, this being round 5 or 6 of such, so I was more than likely sounding off like a turpsed up moron.
I also had a laugh earlier when Luke objected to some expensive tequilla being served to us in Time. "Where's the Jose then?" as we were poured two generous shots by the bartender. The bar manager, who happened to be walking past spun on his heels as if stung and said "Jose? This is Fucking Hacienda!".
When Luke went to buy cigarrettes the manager came back over and I said "They were nice shots " or something. "Yeah, that's good stuff that is mate" he confirmed.
I said "Don't mind Luke, he can't think right" and he said "He's a big boy, he can take it" which I thought was a wonderful summation of the whole exchange, and very manly.
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