Clackers
Posted 08-07-08 at 21:36 by Mr Rooty Tooty
Design flaws.
Who was it who identified the flaws in human design? I seem to recall it was either Rolls or Royce who pointed out that shins are rubbish, and various other ungodly oversights. To this list I humbly add the clacker...
Any animal that can injure, and possibly sterilise, itself by the simple act of seating is a real evolutionary dead end. I sat on a clacker the other day at work. Eliciting the kind of mournful groan normally asociated with an elk. When asked what was wrong by my female asociates I just said I'd put my back out. Didn't want to admit that I'd inadvertantly crushed a large bundle of nerves that I inexplicably keep located in a thin sack of elbow skin dangling somewhere near my arse.
Before this I presumed it was impossible to really hurt your tackle in this fashion, previous instances being nothing more than glancing blows and easily shook off. This was a right egg buster though and made me feel a little queasy.
This played on my mind. Saturday afternoon and racing down a rutted country road the inevitable happened. I was standing lightly on the pegs and the rear wheel dropped into a fuckoff pothole. As the rear end cannoned back up off the road surface the seat / tank whanged me right in the bollocks. It felt like a hand coming up round the U bend and spanking your unsuspecting plums with a ping pong bat as you sit shitting...
If you box and have been knocked out standing up, it is a similar effect. You go from focused and fired up to dazed and detached. There may well be a fist flying straight at your face but it's like being underwater or having your head inside a gaint ringing bell. You might find yourself wondering about what to have for lunch or whether your watch is set incorrectly as the blow sails in. An innapropriate response when viewed objectively.
A similar thing happened here. The world around me just dissapeared and I mentally stalled. I went straight on at a junction and barely regained intelligence to stop before running into a field. It was only maybe 2 seconds of distraction. Where does the law stand on this? Should I ride with a cup on?
Who was it who identified the flaws in human design? I seem to recall it was either Rolls or Royce who pointed out that shins are rubbish, and various other ungodly oversights. To this list I humbly add the clacker...
Any animal that can injure, and possibly sterilise, itself by the simple act of seating is a real evolutionary dead end. I sat on a clacker the other day at work. Eliciting the kind of mournful groan normally asociated with an elk. When asked what was wrong by my female asociates I just said I'd put my back out. Didn't want to admit that I'd inadvertantly crushed a large bundle of nerves that I inexplicably keep located in a thin sack of elbow skin dangling somewhere near my arse.
Before this I presumed it was impossible to really hurt your tackle in this fashion, previous instances being nothing more than glancing blows and easily shook off. This was a right egg buster though and made me feel a little queasy.
This played on my mind. Saturday afternoon and racing down a rutted country road the inevitable happened. I was standing lightly on the pegs and the rear wheel dropped into a fuckoff pothole. As the rear end cannoned back up off the road surface the seat / tank whanged me right in the bollocks. It felt like a hand coming up round the U bend and spanking your unsuspecting plums with a ping pong bat as you sit shitting...
If you box and have been knocked out standing up, it is a similar effect. You go from focused and fired up to dazed and detached. There may well be a fist flying straight at your face but it's like being underwater or having your head inside a gaint ringing bell. You might find yourself wondering about what to have for lunch or whether your watch is set incorrectly as the blow sails in. An innapropriate response when viewed objectively.
A similar thing happened here. The world around me just dissapeared and I mentally stalled. I went straight on at a junction and barely regained intelligence to stop before running into a field. It was only maybe 2 seconds of distraction. Where does the law stand on this? Should I ride with a cup on?
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