Fern and his egg

Cairnsey's phone has small touch sensitive screen. This necessitates the use of a stylus. I thought I was the only one that the stylus annoyed. It annoys me too much to be a reasonable concern. Some girls in the pub once said "Can we have your little pen?". Remains to his day the most sarcastic thing I've ever heard.

I think it's annoying as his hand will hover over the options for seconds, pinky out, as he visually computes where to go to next. It's the exact same effete, poncey and overly cautious maneouvre as the one employed by Fernie when he dips his soldier into an egg yolk. You could identify a proclivity for child raping from such a gesticulation.

He dips his egg like a sex offender.

It's like a Blackbird eyeing worms in dug earth. Awkward stillness then rapid spasmodic motion. Random. Considered.

Thing is, it's a one way street. There aren't any other options, you aim for the big yellow bullseye and tallyho. It would be akin to rubbing your dick around the back of a girls knee when she is lying there with her legs apart. I would hope evolution would weed such genetically misinformed creatures out as they hack my cunt right off.

Press the button, jab the yolk, smash the fanny. Thematically equivalent. Bastards!