Burning the bedsit.
Posted 08-07-08 at 21:25 by Mr Rooty Tooty
To be honest the whole burning his house down thing sounds way worse than it was.
I remember somebody buying a shit load of lighter fuel from the BP garage. We then ended up round Luke's. I reckon, possibly, that he was in bed and we tried to wake him up and failed and decided on a gag. Someone (Cairns or Tim) then poured a tiny amount of the stuff on his doorstep and failed to light it properly.
I only became involved at this point in a "Give it here! That's not how you do it!" way, safe in the knowledge that the fluid would burn lovely but wouldn't provide enough heat to set fire to the woodwork. I splashed all the bottles we had over the windows, door and, almost, through the cat flap (Luke had gaffered it shut from the inside, fortunately for us all). Soon as I dropped a match though it went up to about 6 feet and surrounded the entire first floor including the neighbours so we panicked and banged loudly on the door and ran off laughing.
Thing that stuck with me is, Vickers is the only guy I know who on awakening to find his windows and doors ensconsed within walls of flame would immediately think "Oh shit! They've finally got me!".
He didn't work out it was me for weeks, just assumed it was one of the long list of people after him and just one of those things.
Think he blamed the boyfriend of a girl he'd had round the week previous. But on recollection remembered that he'd come round before with a baseball bat, and that it was probably squared away now in revenge terms.
He also had the pleasure one night of popping for a slash in this bedsit whilst entertaining a lady, of the skag head variety, and upon his return found that she'd legged it with his phone and wallet, rather than hung around and sucked his plod.
He also had some bird round and she went a bit weird so Cairns had to walk her home. When they got back he found that there was no furniture in the house, the curtains were drawn and she just sat in the middle of the room rocking. Cairns reckons he moved a cup and it was clean underneath but with a thick layer of dust accumulated around it...she hadn't moved anything since her husband died.
We've still got the keys.
I remember somebody buying a shit load of lighter fuel from the BP garage. We then ended up round Luke's. I reckon, possibly, that he was in bed and we tried to wake him up and failed and decided on a gag. Someone (Cairns or Tim) then poured a tiny amount of the stuff on his doorstep and failed to light it properly.
I only became involved at this point in a "Give it here! That's not how you do it!" way, safe in the knowledge that the fluid would burn lovely but wouldn't provide enough heat to set fire to the woodwork. I splashed all the bottles we had over the windows, door and, almost, through the cat flap (Luke had gaffered it shut from the inside, fortunately for us all). Soon as I dropped a match though it went up to about 6 feet and surrounded the entire first floor including the neighbours so we panicked and banged loudly on the door and ran off laughing.
Thing that stuck with me is, Vickers is the only guy I know who on awakening to find his windows and doors ensconsed within walls of flame would immediately think "Oh shit! They've finally got me!".
He didn't work out it was me for weeks, just assumed it was one of the long list of people after him and just one of those things.
Think he blamed the boyfriend of a girl he'd had round the week previous. But on recollection remembered that he'd come round before with a baseball bat, and that it was probably squared away now in revenge terms.
He also had the pleasure one night of popping for a slash in this bedsit whilst entertaining a lady, of the skag head variety, and upon his return found that she'd legged it with his phone and wallet, rather than hung around and sucked his plod.
He also had some bird round and she went a bit weird so Cairns had to walk her home. When they got back he found that there was no furniture in the house, the curtains were drawn and she just sat in the middle of the room rocking. Cairns reckons he moved a cup and it was clean underneath but with a thick layer of dust accumulated around it...she hadn't moved anything since her husband died.
We've still got the keys.
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